He was a fool for me first..

Last Sunday at church I saw Jesus walking the road to his death. He was completely bloodied, he looked dead already, yet he walked on. I was clinging onto Jesus as he walked this road.. it seemed foolish to cling to a man as he was literally walking to his death. The mocking world gathered around and couldn't believe someone would place their hope & trust in a man sentenced to die. My hope was about to die with this man on a cross, how could I cling to him still? The Lord also pointed out to me that it was not ME carrying Him... even though he was beaten, his flesh already torn to shreds, completely weakened in his human state, I wasn't holding Him up, even then still He held onto me uniting me in his death so that I could be raised up with him and walk in the newness of life. I did nothing, he did it all.



Today still it seems foolish to hope in Jesus. Even as believers we try and place our hope in other "Christian activity" rather than in Jesus alone. Pastor Ryan prayed over me on Sunday saying "your hope is not in prayer, your hope is not in fasting, your hope is not in worship... it is in the man Jesus." The world still gathers around and mocks those whose hope is in a man they cannot see. The world wants something tangible they can do, or touch, or look at to ensure that things will go the way they want.

Through that picture, seeing how foolish it looked to march with a man to his death on a cross, I have been seeing in a new way how "the message of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the manifestation of the power of God." (1 corinthians 1:18). Let me tell you - realizing this has brought such freedom to my spirit!!!!!! We, as Christians, are going to look like crazy fools to the world. I had to face it - I AM GOING TO LOOK LIKE A FOOL TO THE WORLD, and probably even to some believers. Why?! Because ALL my hope is in JESUS the humble man who chose to die. Knowing that it is a fact, and is in the bible, that the world is not going to accept me, has freed me from TRYING to have the world accept me. They aren't going to. The way I relate to people will seem stupid to others, the way I handle money is going to seem idiotic, the way I spend my time is going to seem rediculous ...

I guess I got into this way of thinking that "If God so loves the world.." than he is going to want his cross - his death - his life - his love - to be appealing to the world. Surely if he loves them so much he wants them to accept him - so his love should seem comfortable, and pretty, so that people will want him as their Savior!

EH - WRONG!!!!!!

His love SURPASSES KNOWLEDGE! yep. that's right. We like to quote this verse and think how beautiful that is.. we like to quote this verse to encourage ... and that is great because this verse is both beautiful and encouraging... but I am also finding it to be quite messy. What I mean by that is we can't wrap our minds around His love, and as humans, we like to think we know it all - so the fact that this love just doesn't make sense sometimes, is uncomfortable. His love surpasses my knowledge - so even though I might come up with some very rational reasons why church should look like this so that people will get saved, and why we should talk to unbelievers in a certain way so that Jesus seems cool to follow ... His love is beyond any of my thinking and I can't wrap it up in a pretty little bow.

The truth is that His death is being worked out in me - and that isn't going to look all that appealing to the world. The truth is that He calls me to give and to serve - not two of the worlds favorite things to do. The truth is that sometimes His presence makes me respond in ways that seem extremely weird and crazy - and it might make the world uncomfortable. The world is going to think I'm a fool so why should I even spend my energy trying to make the cross seem "cool."

With that being said I definitely believe that you can see true LOVE, PEACE, JOY, REST in believers lives, because Christ is in them. Those things definitely appeal to the world, it is what they are after, the blessing of Christ, they just don't realize that the thing they find so foolish (the cross) is what purchased those very things as their inheritance in the first place.

Hoping in Jesus is going to look foolish. A lot of times hoping in Jesus is going to seem like the complete opposite of "what you SHOULD do." I love what Pastor Pete said on Wednesday night - sometimes it is going to even look IRRESPONSIBLE - resting in Jesus, trusting in Jesus ... but the good news is that His blood has never failed, that those who wait on Him will NEVER be put to shame, and simply that He is good & faithful. I am so happy to come to terms with the fact that I am a fool for Jesus.. and it is amazing to remember that He was a fool for me first - coming to live as a man on the earth, the uncreated God becoming a man forever, and dying a sinners death though he was innocent ... he seemed like such a fool, but one day every eye will look upon the one who was slain and see that he is worthy!!!!!